Making the numbers is a desirable trait of leaders. Who wouldn’t want the leader of a company, division or unit to make the numbers?  However, if you are grooming leaders for your company, pay attention to their interpersonal skills and people skills as well as their ability to make the numbers.

I was talking to the CEO of a bank who lamented the lack of people skills in promising young executives.  He also acknowledged that he is responsible to provide the context and training for his team to learn the soft skills as well as the technical skills of banking.  This leader understands his role is to remove obstacles and provide opportunities for his team so they can achieve success for themselves as well as the bank.

Development Dimensions International reports in their 2005/2006 Leadership Forecast that “About one-third of internally sourced leaders fail, usually because of poor people skills or interpersonal skills.”  According to this same report, leaders themselves believe that the most respected trait of leadership is bringing in the numbers.

DDI goes on to say it is easy to understand why leaders believe this because they are rewarded for making their financial and organizational goals.  Developing people, building a team, and creating a culture of collaboration don’t show upon the balance sheet and can take a long time to demonstrate measurable results.

There are significant costs for business and individuals who have underdeveloped interpersonal skills and people skills.

1.  The ability to accomplish even routine operations is diminished.

2.  More attention is placed on getting even, proving you are right, or nursing hurt feelings than on getting the job done.

3.  Protecting yourself is more important than teamwork and collaboration.

4.  Employees leave to find better working environments.

5.  Customers leave to find better customers service, products or service.

“It doesn’t cost a thing to be nice to someone,” admonished my mother.  If it doesn’t cost anything to be courteous and civil, why not make a point of doing it?  Even the world of college sports has realized the value of good manners. A coach from University of South Carolina told my Rotary club that the players are given training in etiquette and other social skills along with the technical skills of football and baseball.

Somewhere along the way I heard that it takes twelve hugs a day to thrive.  If this is true, I am in a hug deficit most days.  After reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, I concluded that I could give at least twelve virtual hugs a day personally and professionally.  Deepak describes how to apply the Law of Giving as “where ever I go, and whoever I encounter, I will bring them a gift.  The gift may be a compliment, a flower or a prayer.”

Just last week as I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Columbia, a city employee was using  broom and dustpan to sweep up the trash in front of the YMCA.  I told him how much I enjoyed the clean curb and sidewalk and thanked him for this work….my gift to him.  He smiled broadly and wished me great day….his gift to me.

There are simple and cost effective solutions to building these soft skills in your business. Which of these are
appropriate for you?

1.  Assess your own personal skills and interpersonal skills first.  What you don’t know you don’t know can hurt you so ask someone you trust to give you candid feedback.

2.  Lead by example.  It starts at the top.

3.  Expect everyone in your business to behave respectfully, courteously, and civilly to everyone inside and outside.  No exceptions.

4.  Provide feedback and training for your team to develop soft skills as well as technical skills.

5.  Strengthen your giving muscles.  Can you give away too much?

6.  You have an unlimited reserve of good will and giving it away does not deplete your resources.

7.  Courtesy, civility, good will, kindness, and appreciation are powerful not forceful.  They strengthen the individual and the organization.

Giving has a boomerang effect. What you give you get back.  Not only do you have an opportunity to be courteous,
civil, kind, gracious, and appreciative at no cost, you have the opportunity to receive the same and more at no cost.  Of course, the boomerang effect doesn’t differentiate–what goes out comes back.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu won a Nobel Prize for his work in South Africa against apartheid.  I met him at a conference in North Carolina in 1999.  I was stunned by his stories of the apartheid atrocities.  I was inspired by the transformation brought about by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which used the “ubuntu” philosophy as a guiding principle.

He explains the African philosophy of “ubuntu” in an interview with Amy Goodman of Democracy Now on October 5, 2004 as “The essence of being human.  We say a person is a person through other persons.  I can’t be human in isolation.  I need you to be all you can be so that I can become me and all that I can be.”

This powerful, diminutive man with an impish sense of humor, ready laugh, and indomitable courage gave voice to a group of 600 organizations and three million people to persuade an entrenched government to abandon its policy of apartheid.  Do you have an opportunity in your business to change a mindset and behavior to help people become all they can be?

Have you packed your manners? I’d ask my children this question as they headed off to spend the night with a friend or some other event.  What can you do in your business to equip your team to succeed not only with technical skills but interpersonal skills and people skills?